Can't have it all
by Meri Kaisla
Summary: One drunken Saitô and too many annoying blue eyes… One shot. Warnings inside. PLEASE read the Author's Notes before reading. RuroKen characters in Naruto Universe


**A/N:** Okay, this is definitely AU. This is sort of happening after the end of Insomnia, so there might be some **spoilers**, but please note that I have no intention whatsoever of making Kenshin a wanderer in my stories. And also Saitô is really weird in this one. He is not acting like Saitô at all. But this is something I came up with and since Adi-sensei liked it – though she fiercely hates Kenshin as a rurouni – this ended up here. And another thing: the characters in here are all from RuroKen, but since this is happening in Naruto Universe, and is linked with Insomnia... Naruto fic it is. And oh, I don't own any of it.

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A month later, the afternoon sun found Saitô Hajime brooding over his cup of sake. He was sitting in a dusty little restaurant, feeling excessively murderous. The waitress noted this, for she hurriedly brought him a new sake bottle and then disappeared from view. Saitô didn't bother to tell her that he would never hurt females. No… What he needed now was a couple of fools he could kick around. But unfortunately the war was over; things were settling down and people no longer searched for refuge from these remote places. So all he could do was glare at his cup of sake and pray for a miracle.

Pray that the note he received was a fake. Pray that when he returned everything would be back to normal. Pray that Sandaime had regained his undoubtedly lost mind.

His sense of honour didn't let him retire now. And besides, there was nothing else he could do.

But still… He knew there was no justice in this world, so that was not the problem. More like… why did this conclusion of the lack of justice have to happen when he was still alive?

He had always thought that only very stupid, childish people - fools, if you wanted a shorter explanation – thumped their heads against the table when they were overwhelmed by excessive amounts of insanity. But he had to admit that he felt really tempted to try it now…

The door opened, just in time to stop him from reverting to an infant. He turned his sharp gaze towards the newcomers and felt his eyebrow lifting on its own.

The newcomers spotted him quickly. "Oh, Saitô-san!"

"As cheerful as ever, you are", Saitô muttered.

They definitely didn't know what was best for them, since they came and seated themselves before him. He was forced to meet two pairs of innocent blue eyes – way too much like the ones that were causing him his current headache. He sighed heavily.

"Wow, you are a real artist", the black-haired boy said in awe. "You even made your sigh sound sarcastic!"

Saitô glared at the boy's widely smiling face. "Always such a pleasure to meet you two."

"Oro?" the other one said. "But what has happened to you, Saitô, de gozaru ka?"

"You don't know?" Saitô asked with a no small amount of disgust.

"Sessha is a rurouni now. Sessha hears much, but how could sessha know what makes you so irritated?"

"Oh, I know", the other one cut in, "his wife left him!"

"Oro?"

"She _did not_", Saitô said icily. He glared at those blue eyes and took a small scroll from his pocket. "Here. Read this."

The now blue eyes scanned the letter and gained an almost violet shade. Suddenly they looked soft and the owner of those eyes smiled a genuine smile. "Ah, sessha understands now. They made him the new Hokage – "

"And you don't really appreciate it!" the younger blue-eyed laughed.

Saitô's glare became even darker. "Who can appreciate it? Now I have to call _him_ Yondaime-sama, and can you even _imagine_ a person who would deserve that _less_ than that grinning blond idiot?"

"Sessha thinks he is good for the job, de gozaru."

"But you are an idealistic fool after all." Saitô glared at his sake cup for a while, then decided to just say it. "I can't serve him", he muttered.

This time the 'oro' was soft and definitely unsurprised.

"He will avenge every 'idiot' and 'stupid blonde' I have ever come up with. And even though we are on the same side" – at this point he heard a stifled little giggle from the boy – "I refuse to be his servant. But he hasn't done anything rotten either, so I can't just slay him."

"Now you are so confident in your abilities, Saitô-san!" the boy smiled.

"Oro", the other one said rather disapprovingly.

"Humph", Saitô answered. "But after all, what else could I do? ANBU is my life."

"You could go home and make babies", the boy suggested cheerfully. "You've got such a pretty wife, I'm sure your kids would be adorable!"

"Now, mind your manners, de gozaru yo. Saitô has a rather short temper."

"Yes, but he is the honest type – look how many empty sake bottles are on the table! He is the type that just snivels and never does anything – and anyway, even if he does, he is too drunk to do anything to us."

"I don't get drunk", Saitô announced rather angrily.

"Of course not, de gozaru."

"So…" Saitô started rather slowly. "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be helping your new kage?"

"Oh, Katsura-san does well without us", the boy said with a wide smile. "After all, he has Sano and Katsu by his side…"

Saitô snorted softly and took a sip from his cup. "Those two… Poor guy, his kingdom is falling to pieces right from the start…"

"We are wanderers now, de gozaru yo", the other one continued. "We want to help others as well, so we wield your swords from now on to protect the innocent we meet everyday on our journey."

"Whatever he says", the boy laughed.

"Sessha swore never to kill again… so from now on, hitokiri Battôsai does not exist anymore."

That statement cleared Saitô's head a bit. He lifted his gaze and stared at the redheaded hitokiri… ex-hitokiri? "What are you talking about… Himura?"

A smile. "That's right, Himura from now on. Or rurouni Kenshin, that's really up to you."

"Rurouni… For heaven's sake…" his gaze drifted to the boy. "You are not sharing his ideal, are you?"

"Oh no", the boy smiled – he always smiled, Saitô remembered. Especially when he was fighting. Or facing a strong opponent. Or clueless… "I mean, rurouni Sôjirô would sound rather funny, you know? But do intend to follow Himura-san."

Saitô looked at them and for the first time it seemed he really saw them. First he seemed to be left speechless, then he sputtered: "Fools." Two pairs of blue eyes smiled at him.

"Take care, Captain of ANBU", the redhead said, rising to his feet. "**I** hope we will meet again someday. "A flash of amber was evident in his eyes for a moment, then they were blue again, with that hint of soft violet. After a moment, he added almost as an afterthought: "De gozaru yo."

"It was nice to see you again, Saitô-taichou", the black-haired boy said, eyes closed and lips curved into an eternal smile. He followed his comrade to the door, and as silently as they came they were gone.

Himura Battôsai. Seta Sôjirô.

Wanderers.

From today on, officially known as 'fools' in his books.

"De gozaru yo to you too", he said, raising his cup as a mock salute to the empty restaurant.


End file.
